We have all had our brushes with anger. It has the capacity to turn life on its head, shatter peace of mind, invade relationships, shake-up career stability and directly affect health. For some of us, anger erupts like a volcano that cannot be contained; for others, it sparks periodically but is easily controlled through the effective employment of anger management techniques.
What is Anger?
The Oxford Dictionary defines anger as “a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure or hostility. This Emotional Life refers to anger as a ‘complex response’ to a perceived threat to ourselves and all that we hold dear – our identities, family, friends, jobs, egos, etc. It likens anger to a warning bell that tells us that something is wrong.
Constance McKenzie, a specialist in depression, victims, victimizers and addiction, in her article for the digital SelfhelpMagazine, entitled “Your Anger: What is Anger? And Why?” refers to anger as one of the most misunderstood and human emotions. She also states that anger is never planned but erupts as a reaction to an inner-emotion.
Anger Management
Failure in managing anger may often lead to situations that have negative effects on an individual and the world around him/her. Anger feeds anger and extreme cases of uncontrolled anger can end in disaster. Mayo Clinic defines anger management as “a process of learning to recognize signs that you're becoming angry, and taking action to calm down and deal with the situation in a positive way.” It refers to anger as a very normal and healthy emotion and stresses on the fact that dealing with anger is not about suppressing it but expressing it in an appropriate manner.
Anger Management Techniques
Extreme cases of anger call for specialized handling and must therefore be referred to a qualified counselor. However, there are many tips on managing anger that an individual may employ on his/her own. They are, but not limited to, the following:
- Counting till ten before one explodes. This is one of the more popular techniques of controlling anger and involves counting till ten, thus causing a break in the simmering emotion.
- Cooling down. Taking deep breaths, exercising, indulging in a hobby, surrounding oneself with nature, listening to music, absorbing oneself with a hobby, etc, can help divert the mind and focus energies on positivity. De-stressing curtails anger.
- Communicating. Getting irritants that tend to spark anger, off one’s chest, helps lighten situations. Talking to loved ones, friends, confidants, counselors, etc, about the issue that is leading to an expression of anger, can help.
- Is it really worth it. Asking oneself if the cause of one’s anger is really worth it, is an effective way of managing this emotion. We often react angrily to situations or circumstances that are insignificant in our larger interests, leading to a waste of time and energy. Introspecting on the worthiness of reacting angrily can therefore diffuse unnecessary tensions and leave room for a more positive influx of thoughts and feelings.
- If anger is inevitable, let it be healthy. In situations that involve angry confrontations between individuals over disagreements, misunderstandings, etc, the feeling of anger is often difficult to resist. An effective way of preventing a confrontation from spinning out of control is by simply agreeing to disagree.
In conclusion, I’d like to quote Roman philosopher, Lucius Annaeus Seneca, who says, “Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it.”
Sources:
Mayo Clinic - Anger Management - Accessed on 10th Febaruary, 2011
HELPGUIDE.org - Anger Management - Accessed on 10th Febaruary, 2011
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